by milo shapiro
Does summer camp bring up images of hikes, pool play and crafts? Or of bullying, sports-phobia and longing to be out of the “manly” world that didn’t quite suit you? Now imagine how much fun camp would have been if almost everyone going was gay? Throw in fun workshops, a talent show, game nights, community gatherings and the beauty of Idyllwild in November … sounding even better? If so, this alternative to another weekend at the bars or chatting online might be for you.
Experience the 96th getaway retreat of California Men’s Gatherings. Held Saturday, November 9 through Monday, November 11 at Pathfinder Ranch in Mountain Center − in the mountains between San Diego and Palm Springs − the three-day weekend is more than fun. It’s also a personal-growth experience.
California Men’s Gatherings (CMG) encourages those with a talent or expertise to offer workshops throughout the weekend, such as conference break-out sessions. You might choose among workshops on relationship development, massage, card games, sexual empowerment (discussion, that is), improvisation, meditation, and whatever else people choose to share with others. Unlike the spa on that last cruise of yours that doubled your vacation cost, once you’re at CMG, all activities are included.
Between these breakout sessions, there are community gatherings based on the Gathering’s theme this year of “Can You Hero Me Now?” This is bound to show up in a number of ways from personal growth to fabulous hero outfits.
Michael Sigmann, a professional speaker/facilitator and founder of the Men’s Inner Journey, will lead two of the group assemblies.
CMG
is a statewide organization with chapters in five metropolitan areas, three of
which put on Gatherings – in spring (Malibu), summer (Santa Rosa) and fall (Julian).
About 75 men will be coming from San Diego, Los Angeles and around the state
for moments that vary from healing to hilarious.
Gatherings with this group are often a one-stop gay getaway for all facets of
your personality, whether exploring the workshops, dancing the night away, or
prepping your act for their infamous talent show. Men from 18 to 80 − of all
shapes and sizes − attend CMG to learn, grow and connect. Lifelong friends (and long-term couples) have
come out of the Gatherings, which date to 1978.
“We welcome the diverse group of men who are drawn to what we create each year. For some, it’s about personal growth. For others, it’s a safe place to explore their creativity. For others, it’s more about connecting more honestly here than usual.”
– Barry Reeves
“We welcome the diverse group of men who are drawn to what we create each year,” said Barry Reeves, a past Gathering planning chair. “For some, it’s about personal growth. For others, it’s a safe place to explore their creativity. For others, it’s more about connecting more honestly here than usual. And for those who are a bit over the bars and online scene as a way to meet nice people, CMG is full of men who feel the same way.”
“After my partner passed away from an illness a number of years ago, I felt like my life was over, too,” said this fall’s co-chair Phil “Monzo” Darby. “But when I discovered this wonderful community of men who really try to unite with one another to make us all feel more connected and valuable, I found a lot of joy opened up for me and I continue to volunteer with pleasure to help keep that feeling alive for myself and others.”
The
cost is $280 through October 31 and $315 from November 1 through November 7. The
$280 price will be accepted for first-timers right up until registration closes
or sells out. $100 scholarships are sometimes possible for those who cannot
afford the rates and would like to volunteer to help put on the weekend. Accommodations
are in bunkhouses where you’ll share camaraderie with other men there.
While
attendees may or may not enjoy a cocktail back home, the weekend is drug- and alcohol-free.
This encourages men who do partake to “get real” while at the retreat
and also creates a safe space to welcome those for whom sobriety is important.
Helping to bridge the gap back to the “unreal world” afterward, CMG holds local events in San Diego and five other cities (including Los Angeles and Palm Springs) a couple of times a month to keep that sense of community flourishing between gatherings. Potlucks, pool parties, bonfires, game nights and more are among the offerings to those on their free mailing list.
“Come take a chance on something very different,” said Mike Fahy, a past-president of the statewide organization, which recently exceeded 5,000 mailing members. “I know it’s a stretch to jump into a three-day weekend with people you don’t know, like it felt for me the first time I went to a Gathering. Yet time and again, I’ve watched men so glad they stepped out of their comfort zone. And many of them return time and again.”
For information about the upcoming Gathering and/or getting on the mailing list for local events (open to men 18 and older), visit TheCMG.org.