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Full Release! 2019 Summer Movie Preview

by tim parks –

Last year provided moviegoers with some quality LGBTQ representation with films like The Favourite, Boy Erased, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Call Me By Your Name and Love, Simon. There was Bohemian Rhapsody of course, with its knock out performance by Rami Malek, which nabbed him a Best Actor Oscar. Naturally, there were detractors who thought the movie “whitewashed” Freddie Mercury’s gayness… M-Xuse me? What did they want, full man-on-man action? Look for that, coming soon in the inevitable gay porn version.

I’m not sure that this year will measure up in terms of what’s being released into the wilds of movie theaters this summer. I mean there is that other gay rock star biopic about Elton John. Rocketman stars Taron Egerton tackling the role of the flamboyant showman, including all of his own vocals in the film… impressive! You go, girl!

As it stands, we are living in the era of the superhero with three films already released before what used to be known as the “blockbuster season” has even arrived.

So, here’s the full release on what’s coming this summer.

What a Doll!

Toy Story 4 and Child’s Play

These two films come out on the same day and to quote The Patty Duke Show theme song, they are as “different as night and day.” It’s doubtful Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the Toy Story gang would go on a killing spree like Chucky. They do, however, go on a road trip and encounter a new character named Forky, thankfully not Knifey. The reboot of the horror movie franchise has Chucky going on the aforementioned killing spree, like a psychotic Teddy Ruxpin, due to faulty AI. (June 21)

Annabelle Comes Home

This will mark the fourth time that the devil doll has appeared on film. You would think by now people would take her at face value and be freaked out to have her in their presence. She’s creepy AF! But that doesn’t dissuade Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) from bringing her into their house. Annabelle’s hostess gift is to unleash her terror on their young daughter… terror’s the gift that keeps on giving! (June 28)

Brahms: The Boy 2

In my humble estimation, this is the sequel to one of the better horror movies of the past few years. This time around Katie Holmes and her movie family come up against the titular doll, who has been befriended by their young son. Sounds like Katie should schedule a playdate with Chucky, stat! (July 26)

You Want Franchise With That?

Godzilla

Godzilla returns to the big screen and battles Rodan, Mothra and Ghidorah in a Kaiju smack down for the ages. Vera Farmiga and Millie Bobby Brown are the human stars caught up in the monster mash. (May 31)

MIB International

Here come the Men in Black galaxy defenders… well, more like the “Men and Women in Black.” Chris Helmsworth stars as Agent H, which must stand for Hot, and Tessa Thompson also stars as Agent M. Working out of the UK branch, the duo must thwart an alien invasion. (June 14)

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Naturally, there are a few contributions to get butts in the seats from Marvel Studios this summer, starting with X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Sophie Tucker stars as Jean Grey who is hit by a cosmic force while on a mission in space and is turned into a powerful mutant. Rather than living her best mutant life, Jean threatens to end all existence. Rude! (June 7)

Spider-Man: Far From Home

Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) goes on a school trip to Europe, hence the title. Once there, he is recruited by Nick Fury (Samuel Muthaf#$&ing Jackson) and is teamed up with Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal). Spider-Man plus sticky webs and Jake Gyllenhaal equals “I wish I knew how to quit you” to my gutter mind. (July 2)

New Mutants

Something of a mutation itself, this horror/superhero hybrid highlights a group of young mutants fighting to save themselves while being held captive at a secret facility. Or what I call a Wednesday. (August 2)

We Are Family

Tell it to the Bees

In a 1952 small town setting, Anna Paquin and Holliday Grainger—no relation to Hermione—explore a lesbian relationship in Tell it to the Bees. And no, that’s not code for anything. Well, at least none that I know of. But then again I wasn’t a lesbian in the ’50s… so there’s that. (June 7)

Ask Dr. Ruth

While on paper, this film doesn’t seem to scream “GAY.” The documentary does, however, go into Dr. Ruth’s frank discussions on HIV/AIDS during a time where not many people were willing to talk about it at all. (May 3)

Halston

A household name during the 1970s, this documentary chronicles the life of the popular fashion designer Roy Halston Frowick. He dressed the likes of Cher, Elizabeth Taylor and Liza Minnelli, the latter of whom makes an appearance in the film. (May 9)

Hey! An Original Idea! Well, Mostly

Booksmart

A raunchy teen comedy that follows the misadventures of Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein), two young ladies who abstained from partying to get straight A’s. They learn upon the eve of high school graduation that it wasn’t the case for their, shall we say, “underachieving” schoolmates (seems like a nice word to use). The duo makes up for lost time and then some. (May 24)

Ma

Not a spin-off psychological thriller of Valerie Harper’s Rhoda series, focusing solely on Ida Morgenstern… and yes, I’ve been saving that joke since the ’70s. Octavia Spencer stars as a lonely woman who befriends a group of teens and begins to turn a bit obsessive with her brand of “motherly concern.” Let’s just say that Joan Crawford’s got nothing on Octavia! Still, somebody should pat her down for wire hangers. I’m just sayin’. (May 31)

Late Night

Emma Thompson is a talk show host who hires her first and only female staff writer, Mindy Kaling. The trailer suggests a bit of The Devil Wears Prada vibe, and Thompson’s hair is a tad reminiscent of Miranda Priestly’s. The gays will hate that! On opposite day. (June 7)

The Dead Don’t Die

To quote the Smiths, “Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before…” and bitch I have. The Dead Don’t Die is about, wait for it, a town being overrun by zombies! All kidding aside—yes, I am able to do that—this horror movie has an amazing cast with Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Chloë Sevigny, Adam Driver, Steve Buscemi, Iggy Pop and Tom Waits and is directed by Jim Jarmusch. (June 14)

Yesterday

“Love was such…” oh I don’t know, “an easy game to play.” At least it was in Yesterday for Jack Malik (Himesh Patel), who after a freak bus accident and weird global blackout, awaken to a world where The Beatles never existed. He begins to perform their songs as his own to much acclaim, but runs the risk of losing his love Lily James in the process. (June 28)

Midsommar

The new horror movie from Hereditary director Ari Aster, Midsommar is set in Sweden during a rural town’s midsummer festival that quickly takes a dark turn for a group of unsuspecting Americans. Hopefully, they aren’t subjected to assembling IKEA furniture without the directions… they’ll have no idea where to connect the schnecktadoink to the faarlaben! (July 3)

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

The year was 1969 to be specific, when the Manson Family began their Helter Skelter reign of terror. Director Quentin Tarantino uses this backdrop as a tribute to the demise of Hollywood’s Golden Days. An all-star cast includes: Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Margot Robbie, Lena Dunham, Al Pacino and Damon Herriman as “The Beaver” err, Charles Manson. (July 26)

The Kitchen

“Someone’s in The Kitchen with…” no, it’s not Dinah, it’s Melissa McCarthy in this crime drama set in the 1970s . Rather, the two lady occupants in question are Tiffany Haddish and Elisabeth Moss, who along with McCarthy, play a trio of wives who take over for their imprisoned mob boss husbands. Sounds good, so don’t fuhgettaboutit. (August 9)

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Based on a series of children’s books—and since most of us are eternally 12—this may be, ahem, right up your alley. As it stands, the town of Mill Valley is haunted by an old mansion and a group of teens have to literally face their worst fears… Literally! (August 9)

Brittany Runs a Marathon

In this film, the character of Brittany (Jillian Bell) is told by her doctor that she needs to start living a healthier lifestyle. She takes up running and sets the goal of participating in the New York City Marathon. Watch out jaded New Yorkers, I have a bit of advice you should heed. Leave Brittany alone, y’all, she’s trying to run! (August 23)

The Lion King

On the other end of the spectrum regarding original ideas, Disney seems to have run out of them. The Lion King is the live action, well CGI, version of its beloved 1994 classic. (July 19) It’s the third live action Disney effort in five months time, following Dumbo, which sadly didn’t “have the ears” to make it soar to box office heights! Aladdin had Will Smith trying his hand at replacing Robin Williams performance in the original cartoon version. Yeah, but no… I’ll take a hard pass.

Hopefully this preview helps you discern what to see, what to skip and to wait for on DVD. Perhaps the community would have more screen time if there was a gay superhero. Maybe something along the lines of Buttman and his sidekick Throbbin’ the Boy Wonder. Just spitballin’ here to see what sticks, so to speak. Regardless, enjoy your time in the dark.

Happy viewing!