By lance perkins
It’s not easy catching up with the most famous matchmaker in Los Angeles. On the same day of our interview, Patti also was interviewed by Katie Couric of CBS news and was rushing around and getting ready to celebrate the show’s premiere of the new season of the The Millionaire Matchmaker.In the fast lane, Patty said, “Tonight, I’m hanging with the cast and crew. We’re getting dressed up and going to The Falcon.”
Stanger’s childhood in New Jersey was as far as you can get from the glitz and glam of Hollywood. She explains, “I’m from Shore Hills, New Jersey where the mall is. Everyone knows it because of the mall. I grew up in Florida. I have a BSA in film from the University of Miami so I thought I was going to come out here and be the next Sherry Lansing and I ended up doing this. It was really a fluke. I realized that I had a gift.
I was working for a Fortune 500 company and this business was taking off. I was making so much money in this business. There was no point in going to work everyday. My matchmaking business was bigger.
The geek always wants to be turned into a sheik. So it was a kind of a thing where I was constantly doing this every day, going out and doing the makeover, closing the deal servicing them and getting them the girl. I had to build up my staff because of that.”
Stanger does gay matchmaking as well. “Yes, we have gay millionaires and we have a bi-curious female millionaire, so we’ve got both! Trisha is one of our bi-curious women. She had a divorce and got cheated on and was really hurt. She always had this crush on this girl in college and had a little fling with her. So she thought maybe she made the wrong move by getting married to this man. Then, maybe she was gay. I always feel like either you know or you don’t. But there are bisexuals out there, so I’ve got to see where she stands.
So I send her to Dr. Nikki and Dr. Nikki tells me that she doesn’t know yet because she doesn’t know herself. In other words, nobody can tell you if you’re gay or not. I made a mixer for the first time with both straight men and gay women. It is the most fun, rollercoaster ride that you will ever see on the show. It’s awesome! (laughs) It’s just a free for all! People do get a chance and fall in love. This season, we have had the most matches in the history of MM.”
Patti also did publicity recently for the “No H8” campaign. What are her thoughts about marriage equality? “I’m for gay marriage and I’m against Prop. 8 as you can see. I don’t think that the government has to intervene in what type of marriage we have. Two consenting same-sex adults should have the right to marry and adopt children. If we can get married, they should be able to.”Stanger comes from a long line of matchmakers. She explains, “It’s one of those things where I get credits in heaven and there are people I match that I do pro-bono and there are people I match where I charge. Overall, matchmaking is in my blood. I couldn’t stop it if I tried. It’s like an addiction, like smoking or doing drugs. It’s a very hard, but healthy addiction.”
Just what does she think about gay dating? “It seems like for gay people, to me, it seems like they [gay people] are in a shopping market. Yes! Or they flake or they want to have sex right then and there and they’re not thinking about courting. Courtship is what love is all about. It’s taking your time to get to know someone, planning an exceptional night and making it fun.
The build-up is the best part but when you have sex right away without getting to know someone, you don’t have any build-up and what are you going to do from there but crash? You really have to have your list of parameters, your deal breaker set up, so you don’t waste your time on looky-loos who are not right for you.”
With her service come rules and if those interested in finding love can’t abide…watch out! “I think there are two this season who I throw out. They break their dates all the time. Zagros broke the commandments of dating last year by sleeping with a girl on the first date. He comes back groveling and apologizing and I fix him up with someone else. So I mean they do break the commandments because they think they know better than I do. Then, they are in the dog house and when they hit the dog house that is when they say to me, ‘Please help me now’ and that’s usually how you break a stallion in. If they want the carrot, they are going to have to sit down and beg for it.”
It would seem that the same rule of thumb applies to the wealthy gay men of West Hollywood. “Yes, I mean one of the people who was supposed to be dating on the show, he kind of like…flaked on us. So there’s a lot of flaking going on. It’s like enough already. We can’t handle your flake factor. Just because you’re gay, it doesn’t give you an excuse to flake. That’s ridiculous. That’s just being someone who is irresponsible. And he’s still single, so what does he know? He’s going to be in a nursing home serving drinks!”
What does Patti envision for the future of Millionaire Matchmaker? “I think we’re going to go on the road next year. I really want to hit the other 49 states. Show a different kind of millionaire and girl in different cities. I think when we get out of L.A.; we won’t have as much flakey behavior. L.A. is the hardest place to find love because people are so beautiful and so shallow. I mean, look at Heidi Montag and ten surgeries in one day at 23 years old. Shoot that doctor!
We are all searching for perfection and perfection does not exist. We have to start looking at our hearts. Especially in times of crisis like the earthquake in Haiti, it’s not going to matter what you look like when the sky is falling down.”
